Sexual Wellness During Menopause with Dr. Shannon Chavez
"Menopause is a major life transition that affects far more than hormones. It can influence mood, sleep, energy, libido, confidence, and a woman's overall relationship with her body. A thoughtful approach to menopause includes education, emotional support, and a deeper understanding of how these changes shape physical health, intimacy, and well-being. With the right care, menopause can become a time of greater self-awareness, empowerment, and connection rather than something to simply endure.
We have to change the menopause narrative because too many women have been taught to see this stage of life as something to fear, hide, or simply endure. That outdated messaging leaves women feeling ashamed, dismissed, and disconnected from their bodies at a time when they need support, education, and care the most. A new narrative makes room for honesty, empowerment, and a deeper understanding of what women truly need to feel healthy, sensual, and connected through this transition." - Dr. Shannon Chavez
Shop Supportive Tools
External Vibrators
Body Image and Sex During Menopause
"My approach as a sex therapist is to look at menopause through a whole-person lens, recognizing that sexual wellness is deeply connected to emotional health, nervous system regulation, relationship dynamics, and the way a woman feels in her body. I help women move beyond symptom management alone by understanding the mind-body connection, reducing shame, and creating more space for pleasure, intimacy, and self-trust during this transition. Rather than treating menopause as the end of sexuality, I see it as an opportunity to redefine desire, deepen connection, and build a more intentional relationship with your body and well-being.
Body image is such an important part of the menopause conversation because so many women start to feel like their body is changing in ways they did not expect or no longer fully recognize. These shifts can affect confidence, sensuality, and the ability to feel at home in your own skin, especially when our culture places so much pressure on women to stay unchanged. In my work, I help women move away from criticism and disconnection and toward a more compassionate, informed relationship with their body. Menopause is not a time to turn against yourself. It is a time to listen more closely, care for yourself more intentionally, and build a new kind of trust with your body." - Dr. Shannon Chavez
Stimulating Oils and Gels
Topical stimulating gels and oils can help increase blood flow, warmth, and sensitivity during arousal supporting comfort and pleasure when menopause-related hormonal changes reduce natural lubrication and sensation.
Sex Therapist Recommended Products for Menopause
"Product recommendations during menopause should go beyond trends and focus on what truly supports comfort, pleasure, and overall well-being. Changes in hormones can affect skin, vaginal tissue, arousal, temperature regulation, and sleep, which is why the right products can play an important role in daily self-care and intimacy. I recommend safe-to-use, body-aware solutions that help women feel supported as their needs change, whether that includes lubrication, moisturizing care, sensory tools, sleep support, or products that enhance relaxation and connection. The goal is not to “fix” the body, but to provide tools that help women feel more at ease, more empowered, and more connected to themselves.
I often recommend a few simple but powerful products that help women feel more supported in their bodies during menopause. A wand massager can be an incredible tool, not just for relaxation throughout the body, but for gently reconnecting with the pelvic area through massage, sensation, and improved blood flow. I also often talk about the importance of vaginal moisture and tissue health, which is why I recommend a good vaginal moisturizer or hyaluronic acid suppositories, an ingredient many women already trust in skincare, and that can be incredibly supportive for vaginal tissue as it changes. For intimacy, I like lubricants that do more than reduce friction, such as Sliquid O Gel or Toca Organic Pleasure Oil because they can also support arousal, pleasure, and a more connected sexual experience." - Dr. Shannon Chavez
Books to Support Intimacy
I love the Womanizer for something a little different than your typical vibrator. Instead of vibrating, it pushes air pulsations around your clitoris. Many women compare it to the feeling of oral sex.
